My Aims....& Badi Ma

As a child everyone is fascinated with lot of things…I was no different just that I was fascinated and fancied everything I saw. It was so very easy to impress me. It was not usual ‘have a chocolate and sit quietly’ thing with Sonam!!!

The most often children are asked a question: WHAT YOU WANT TO BE??? (TUM BADE HO KAR KYA BANOGE???)

Though a child doesn’t know anything about a doc’s job and the stuff he does or the ugly things (which won’t be of any benefit later in job) he will have to learn to be an engineer but he/she will reply either of the two. Probably thinking they are the two most sought after people or maybe jobs.

That was the case with me too and whenever anyone asked me the BIG question, I gave the most confident answer, “I’ll become a doctor.” I doubt if I knew there was subject called biology at that innocent age.

The first aim of my life changed as my Badi ma (My beloved dadi) got a heart attack and was hospitalized. And for the first time in my life at the age of twelve, I entered a hospital of course barring when I was born…I HATED THE SMELL it had. It was medicine, blood or what, but I decided on the very day that I won’t become a doctor and smell this ugliness all my life.

And I never thought of being an engineer it just seemed too boring to even utter.

When Badi ma came back home, I announced first to her that I don’t want to be a doctor anymore since the hospital stinks. She smiled and started to explain how doctors save lives…but I was in no mood to change my firm decision. I even agreed to part with my toy doctor’s kit she gifted me on my birthday. I promised her that I will soon decide and tell her about my new AIM in life, before I went to sleep.

From next day I had a new task to do was look for a new AIM in life. I was lost in all my classes except English…how could I dream/think in Thomas sir’s class…Wow class…I wish I could track his where being. That day we read William Wordsworth’s Daffodils and yellow became my favorite color and I wanted to be a POET!!!  

And went home happily, had food and waited for Badi ma to reach her room for the siesta hour. I followed and pretending to be very sleepy, as I reached her bed…she was sleeping and I touched her dupatta first and then her golden and soft arm as she opened her eyes slowly, I smiled and declared, “Badi aa, I want to be a poet.” Now her eyes were wide open and she turned to see me and touched my right cheek and planted a kiss. I kissed her back saying, “Achcha hai na.”

Now her eyes were filled with H2O (this is how I use to say water those days…chemistry was entering my life). “Kya hua Badi aa sorry!” Panic all over my face. She kissed me again and told my grandfather too use to write poetry. I was surprised and could not resist asking if he wrote in English or Hindi. I was told he use to write in Urdu!!! This is why I am in love with the language.

My aim now was a top secret only between me and Badi ma.

In the early months of 1999, before I entered tenth grade, I read “The Sky is falling” by Sidney Sheldon…half of the things were not understood by me…it was a book picked up from a collection of my Chachu. But news reporter Dana Evans left a deep impact on me. It was my first full time novel…and I just loved and decided to be a JOURNALIST>>>War Reporter as Dana Evans. It was the “KARGIL WAR” broke and BARKHA DUTT became national pride and personal aim.

As I revealed this to Badi ma, she told me that Swati Didi is doing a diploma in journalism…and suggested that I should talk to her. Swati di is my first cousin…my elder sister would be much better…I need to write another post on how I hate the social rules!!! Sibling…cousins…frist. Cousins…second…highly irritating.

There on…no looking back…I joined a mass communication program in a local college which awarded me both Bachelors in mass communication and masters in Journalism.

Only to know core journalism is not my cup of tea…and those who know me…how much I hate TEA!!!